I'm Angry
30 November 14
t some point while I was playing or preparing to play Monday Night Football, the news broke about the Ferguson Decision. After trying to figure out how I felt, I decided to write it down. Here are my thoughts:
I'M ANGRY because the stories of injustice that have
been passed down for generations seem to be continuing before our very
eyes.
I'M FRUSTRATED, because pop culture, music and movies
glorify these types of police citizen altercations and promote an
invincible attitude that continues to get young men killed in real life,
away from safety movie sets and music studios.
I'M FEARFUL because in the back of my mind I know that
although I'm a law abiding citizen I could still be looked upon as a
"threat" to those who don't know me. So I will continue to have to go
the extra mile to earn the benefit of the doubt.
I'M EMBARRASSED because the looting, violent protests,
and law breaking only confirm, and in the minds of many, validate, the
stereotypes and thus the inferior treatment.
I'M SAD, because another young life was lost from his
family, the racial divide has widened, a community is in shambles,
accusations, insensitivity hurt and hatred are boiling over, and we may
never know the truth about what happened that day.
I'M SYMPATHETIC, because I wasn't there so I don't
know exactly what happened. Maybe Darren Wilson acted within his rights
and duty as an officer of the law and killed Michael Brown in self
defense like any of us would in the circumstance. Now he has to fear the
backlash against himself and his loved ones when he was only doing his
job. What a horrible thing to endure. OR maybe he provoked Michael and
ignited the series of events that led to him eventually murdering the
young man to prove a point.
I'M OFFENDED, because of the insulting comments I've
seen that are not only insensitive but dismissive to the painful
experiences of others.
I'M CONFUSED, because I don't know why it's so hard to
obey a policeman. You will not win!!! And I don't know why some
policeman abuse their power. Power is a responsibility, not a weapon to
brandish and lord over the populace.
I'M INTROSPECTIVE, because sometimes I want to take
"our" side without looking at the facts in situations like these.
Sometimes I feel like it's us against them. Sometimes I'm just as
prejudiced as people I point fingers at. And that's not right. How can I
look at white skin and make assumptions but not want assumptions made
about me? That's not right.
I'M HOPELESS, because I've lived long enough to expect
things like this to continue to happen. I'm not surprised and at some
point my little children are going to inherit the weight of being a
minority and all that it entails.
I'M HOPEFUL, because I know that while we still have
race issues in America, we enjoy a much different normal than those of
our parents and grandparents. I see it in my personal relationships with
teammates, friends and mentors. And it's a beautiful thing.
I'M ENCOURAGED, because ultimately the problem is not a
SKIN problem, it is a SIN problem. SIN is the reason we rebel against
authority. SIN is the reason we abuse our authority. SIN is the reason
we are racist, prejudiced and lie to cover for our own. SIN is the
reason we riot, loot and burn. BUT I'M ENCOURAGED because God has
provided a solution for sin through the his son Jesus and with it, a
transformed heart and mind. One that's capable of looking past the
outward and seeing what's truly important in every human being. The cure
for the Michael Brown, Trayvon Martin, Tamir Rice and Eric Garner
tragedies is not education or exposure. It's the Gospel. So, finally,
I'M ENCOURAGED because the Gospel gives mankind hope.