It's nice to see the current upswing for Gov. Mike Huckabee, a Christian Leader. That's the kind of guy we need. It was gratifying to see him on the TV news at Liberty University where he said the same power that allowed a boy to feed the multitude with five loaves and two fishes is also what is responsible for his moving up in the political polls. He said it was amusing to him that all the smart pundits couldn't grasp the reason behind his improving fortunes. As the Good Book says, if the Lord is for him, who can be against him?
This got me so excited I went to his website and read up on how he stands on all the issues. It is good to see that like any true Christian he is very pro-military. He will increase the defense budget by 70%. He will also protect us from terrorists by staying in Iraq until we win. Another way he is like Jesus is in standing strong against poor immigrants. No amnesty for them! They will have to register within 120 days and be deported, but if they stay and get caught they will be deported then. That's the kind of incentive that will make them come forward for sure. He will also protect us from homosexuals by not letting them marry each other. He must figure that will keep them from multiplying.
He also has great plans to fix the health care and energy crises by relying on market solutions. We can be certain that, inspired by his example of Christian charity, insurers and HMOs will provide coverage to the sickly and indigent and oil and auto companies will suck it up and do what is best for the environment and energy independence. He will accomplish these by using "the bully pulpit" and "the bully conference table," certainly tactics that no industry will be able to resist. You can see he has a gift for lasering in on the heart of a matter and coming up with novel and incisive solutions.
But I've saved the best for last. Like any good Christian, Mike hates taxes and the IRS. He will abolish the IRS! A sales tax will be the only federal tax. Naysayers will charge it with being regressive, but Mike anticipated that and has named it the "Fair Tax." Is he brilliant, or what? It will only be assessed on new goods, so if you buy used stuff you won't have to pay any taxes at all! We can count on doubting Thomases to question how he will be able to pay for a $300 billion defense increase and a $200 billion war while relying only on a high sales tax that will give people a powerful disincentive to buy anything. Ha! Not to worry. His website explains that it will "act like a magic wand." If there is anything we could use right now in these trying times it is a magic wand.
It is easy to see why Huckabee is taking off among Republican voters. His Christian morality, magical economics and the fact that the Lord has now taken charge of the opinion polls makes his candidacy irresistable. Huckabee in '08!
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