Wedding Bells

I've been out of town for the past couple of days. We usually go to the L.A. area for Easter. Family schedules didn't work out for that though, so we got together this weekend in lieu. One of the big developments is that my younger daughter is now engaged to be married.

I like the young man and the traditional way he handled things. Our daughter Marie met him where they both live down in San Diego. That's nearly 350 miles from here. We had met him at least a couple of times before, including spending Thanksgiving with his family in Chula Vista (near San Diego) last November. He called me on the phone about three weeks ago and asked if he could come talk to me.

So two Fridays ago he drove all the way up here. We went for a walk and talked about love and commitment and friendship and working things out and a lot of the other things that go into sustaining a relationship for a lifetime. It is good he has a college degree and a good job, and that he was able to get employed again after his job at Countrywide disappeared. Those are welcome. A good work ethic and earning capacity are not inconsequential, particularly considering my daughter is in the theater business. But of greater importance to me are his level-headed demeanor, open-mindedness, sense of humor, and seeming willingness to listen and think about things. I gave him my approval. He thanked me and showed me the engagement ring he'd bought. It was very nice. I thought back to my own proposal to Joan, when I couldn't afford one but at least she said she didn't care about having one and it was better for us not to spend scarce funds on non-essentials like that. I was grateful to her for that. It was touching to hear Marie thank me over the phone later for giving my "permission." Sometimes your children, even once they're grown, think you have more power than you really do!

Some friends and family members have remarked with amazement along the lines that it must be a shock that my daughter is getting married. They think of her as a little girl and goodness, haven't the years gone by in a hurry? Well, no, not really. Marie is 23 now, and her fiance just turned 27. I'm 54 myself. Those seem like pretty reasonable ages for people to be brides, grooms or fathers of brides to me! That is particularly true if the girl has her head on straight, as Marie seems to.

It was fun for me and my wife to spend time with her and her sister, going shopping and talkng about wedding plans. They are shooting for a January wedding--don't cringe, this is San Diego we're talking about, where the January high may be 70 instead of 74--and nine months is considered a fairly conventional time frame for arranging one of these things. Not cheap but not extravagant, is how I put it to her.

So another of those milestones of life is coming. It feels good to be getting to experience it. These are the some of the universal themes of life across all cultures: your childrens' progression into adulthood, independence and marriage. I want my daughter to be happy. She and Robert are in love, and Robert seems to be a good man, serious about making this marriage work. One never knows, but I'd say their chances are far better than average for that to happen. How do peacock blue, cream white and sunny yellow grab you for the wedding colors? I'm sure it will all be wonderful.